Creating Possibility For Transformation

Creating Possibility For Transformation

 by: Dr Harry Henshaw

Transformational Counseling is about assisting another to transform his life. Transforming ones life is not about changing it. While life is much about doing differently, the genesis of the transformation is about a person altering or transforming his belief or thought of who he thinks he is. We tend to believe that our life is determined or influenced by people, places, things, situations and circumstance and that who we are is the mere accumulation of our past experiences but this is not so. Rather, it is our thoughts and beliefs that determine our experiences and life and also that we are completely and solely responsible for their creation. What we think and believe, especially about ourselves, determines our emotions and behavior in the world and it is our behavior that merely validates what we think and believe about ourselves. Furthermore, we believe or think that we know who we are in life but the reality is that we truly do not. Much of who we are really being we are simply not present to. Much of our life is spent in pretense and who we are really being is hidden from us.

Given that much of our life is lived in pretense, from the construct of ego, becoming present to that which is hidden, to who we are being in life, is absolutely necessary for transformation. It is in that which is primarily hidden from us that one will discover what is determining ones life, referred to here as ones self-limiting belief. The first component of the transformational process is for one to become present to the hidden thoughts and beliefs that have been limiting him in life and in particular to his self-limiting belief. It is in the being of the self-limiting belief that one will discover the primary constraint or barrier to his life, to him living a life that he loves and living it powerfully. We live life from who we think we are. Who we think we are forms the context for our life. Having the awareness or distinction of the self-limiting belief allows one the ability to not be it, to not have his life be merely the probable almost certain future from the past. Without the distinction of the self-limiting belief one will continue to create his life from the backdrop of this ideational barrier and as a result life will appear much as it did in the past.

Becoming present to that which has been hidden, to that which has been truly determining his being in life, allows one the opportunity to transform his life. Once one gets who he has been being in life, the second component of transformative process is for the individual to begin to create his life as a possibility. Once the distinction of the self-limiting belief is gotten, the individual is now able to truly create a new possibility for himself and his life. Getting the self-limiting belief creates the space or an opening for a possibility or possibilities to be invented not as a result or product of the barrier or constraint but from or out of nothing. It is only from nothing that possibility can truly be created. As with the self-limiting belief, possibility exists in language. Once one gets the language that he has been being, that has defined and limited him through being his self-limiting belief, it is at this point that he can begin to recreate himself through the power of his word. Who we are is our word. In is in ones language or word created out of nothing that one has access to possibility and transformation.

The technique described below is designed to assist an individual in becoming present to his self-limiting belief and in the process to create the space or opening for him to invent a possibility or possibilities for recreating his life.

1. Find a relaxing and comfortable space to sit in for approximately one hour. Arrange for this space to be free of any distractions. Just allow yourself to begin to relax. Become present to where and who you are. The use of therapeutic relaxation music can promote the development of a very profound sense of relaxation to enhance this experience.

2. Take a notebook and begin to write down everything that you believe describes or defines who you are. Let your mind wander and do not try to filter or block out anything. Just let whatever comes up about yourself, how you feel and what you think about yourself, to be written down. Who you think you are or that which bests describes you may appear in single words or short phrases. If in a group, share your description of yourself with others. Furthermore, make two lists as there will appear to be both positives and negatives aspects about who you think you are.

3. Sit your notebook down, close your eyes and begin to relax deeply again. Again, the use of therapeutic relaxation music will assist you in the process of creating a very deep state of relaxation. As you begin to move into a deep state of relaxation allow yourself to begin to drift back through time, back through your life, back through your adulthood, adolescence and into your childhood. Allow yourself to become present to how you were being, experiences, thoughts and feelings, through the various phases or stages of your life. Just become present to or notice what appears for you.

4. Open your eyes and return to work on your notebook. Take a look at what you have written and add anything that you became present to about yourself during the above mentioned relaxation exercise. Again, do not filter out anything but merely allow whatever there is to come to the surface, both the positive and negative words that best describes who you think and feel you are or were.

5. Once you have come to a completion of creating the lists, both positive and negative, consider that the positives of who you think yourself to be form the pretense of your life and that their design or function is to fix the negatives of who you think you are.

6. Allow yourself to become present to the negatives you have written down. Notice which one of the negatives best describes who you are, what you commonly believe and feel about yourself, what you have experienced in your mind in the past and even now. Declare the negative aspect that is familiar to you to be your self-limiting belief.

7. Place your notebook in your lap. Allow yourself to become fully present to the fact that what you have written is you, is who you believe yourself to be. Become present to an inauthentic way of being, the positive as pretense and the negatives as that which we hide from ourselves and the world.

8. Place the notebook into your past. If you are right handed place your notebook to your left. If you are left handed place your notebook to your right. Place the notebook approximately three feet from you.

9. Once you place your notebook into your past allow yourself to become present to where your notebook is in relation to your body, to your right or left. Allow yourself to again become present to that which you have written in your notebook is who you believe you are and that it exists to either your right or left.

10. Once you become present to who you believe yourself to be, to the description of yourself as you have written, allow yourself to become present to what now lies in front of you. Given that who you think you are is either to your left or right, become present to what exists in front of you is nothing, an opening from which everything and anything is possible and can be created.

11. Inside the nothing that appears in front of you, invent a possibility or possibilities for yourself and your life. Declare your possibility in language or word, of who you will take on being in life, for yourself. Furthermore, this declaration becomes your personal affirmation of who you will be in and for the world.

12. Repeat this exercise everyday. Repeating this exercise daily will allow one to continue to stay present to his self limiting belief so as to not be it and also to the possibility or possibilities that he has created and invented for himself and his life. Continuing this exercise will also allow the further possible unveiling of the self-limiting belief. The self-limiting belief that one initially becomes present to may reveal even deeper meaning for who one is or has been being.

The exercise outlined above is about the work of the first two components of Transformational Counseling and one beginning the process of transformation. Once one gets the distinction of his self-limiting belief and creates a possibility or possibilities for himself and his life, the third component of transformation involves learning the process of enrollment. Enrollment is a powerful technique for allowing one to stay living into his possibility and out of his self-limiting belief. The fourth component of transformation is about creating a daily plan. The daily plan allows one the opportunity to continue to live into or generate his possibility in his life on a daily basis. The fifth component of transformation involves a commitment to stay in the conversation of transformation. It is in staying in the conversation that one experiences the nonlinear nature of transformation thereby keeping the process alive in his life.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC

http://www.enhancedhealing.com

About The Author Dr Harry Henshaw is in private practice in North Miami Beach, Florida. http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Hurricane Katrina Donations Could be Many Millions More - eBay Sellers Try in Vain to Help

Hurricane Katrina Donations Could be Many Millions More - eBay Sellers Try in Vain to Help

 by: Dennis Becker

Yesterday I saw a mention in someone’s email ezine about a kind person who had an eBay auction with the proceeds going 100% to help victims of the horrible Hurricane Katrina.

It struck a chord with me because I had wanted to set up something similar, but found that the “eBay Giving Works” charity program seems to be terribly flawed for us small sellers. I had researched it the day before, eBay goes through Mission Fish to handle the administrative tasks and distribution.

Here in a nutshell is how I understand it works. You set up an eBay auction and pledge a percentage of the proceeds to go to a charity. You pick the one you like. If the auction sells, the buyer pays you, and Mission Fish charges your credit card, taking out $3.00 per transaction for their fees, plus 3% to cover credit card fees. That’s reasonable, they need to cover their overhead and payroll expenses. Then Mission Fish sends the balance to the charity.

The minimum donation per item has to be $10.00. Again, so far so good, I can understand that.

Now, I noticed in the auction that I visited that the seller had set up a dutch auction, with 1000 “lots” available, each for $1.00 each, with the proceeds going 100% to her favorite charity that would get food to the Katrina victims. I was about to place a bid for several $1.00 lots (a dutch auction lets you “win” as many of the item as you like, all at the same price).

Then it hit me, why couldn’t I do the same kind of dutch auction, maybe she had found the way to get around the $10.00 per item restriction, and found that it was a minimum $10.00 per auction. It would only make sense that it would work that way, since Mission Fish charges the seller’s credit card, if all 1000 lots sold, that would be $1000 for the charity, Mission Fish would take $3.00 plus 3%, the seller would collect (hopefully) the $1000 from the buyers, and all she would be on the hook for would be the eBay fees. Those fees, plus her hard work, would be her personal contribution.

So I went back to eBay and Mission Fish and researched the deal again. I found out that sure enough, in a multiple item auction, Mission Fish requires a $10.00 donation from the seller for EVERY ITEM that sells in a multiple-item auction (dutch auction).

So, if the seller had 1000 lots at $1.00 each, and they all sold, Mission Fish would have charged her credit card on file for $10.00 for each lot, a total of $10,000.00! And they would have taken their $3.00 + 3% fee for each of those 1000 lots, more than $3,000.00 for their trouble!

At that point, I realized the seller either had deep pockets and was matching contributions 10 to 1, or she misunderstood what would happen to her. I sent her an email, and to end a long story, she indeed misunderstood, was obviously fairly upset at the prospect of paying $10,000, and ended the auction early.

Now, I’d like my readers to do one of two things. If you think that eBay and Mission Fish are mishandling the charity program, as I do, please contact one or both and point them to this blog entry, or just write your own letter with your thoughts.

You can contact Mission Fish here:

http://www.missionfish.org/Help/contactus.jsp

eBay is always more difficult to contact, but you can try starting here:

http://pages.ebay.com/help/contact_us/_base/index.html

The other thing you could do is support the eBay seller’s cause, she had to end the auction but she took the trouble to set up a web page for donations, you can access and support it here:

http://www.flipidy.com/secondharvest.htm

Perhaps with enough pressure on Mission Fish, they’ll get together with eBay and allow dutch auctions to be counted as a single donation, instead of multiple individual items, and encourage more charity in the future.

For those with homes, families, relatives or friends in the devasted area, my hearts and prayers go out to you. I hope this little blog entry will in some small way help someone somewhere.

About The Author Dennis Becker is author of a regular blog about different ways of earning money on the Internet, titled appropriately enough "Success On The Internet". You can find it at: http://www.fantastic-ebooks.com/index.php.

Speculators and Speculation

Speculators and Speculation

 by: Steve Gillman

Speculators get a bad rap. Speculation in stocks, currecies and commodities futures is a necessary part of our economy. Many people have the idea that there is no added value in people "gambling" on commodities prices, for example. The truth is, most people just don't understand of the role of speculators and speculation.

The Truth About 'Speculation'

Speculative trading is crucial to a modern economy. Let's use corn for an example. A farmer can plant his corn, and then see the price drop so low by harvest time that he loses his investment, and possibly goes bankrupt. How can he prevent this?

By selling some of his future production now, at a set price, he can plan ahead safely. The contracts he creates and sells will go up and down with the price of corn, but the risk is all in the hands of the speculators who buy them. They profit by re-selling them if the price goes up, and they lose money if it goes down. Our farmer, though, has his price, and can plan his business now.

Now, on the other side, a cereal company needs predictability in the prices of their basic commodities, in order to plan future production. They can't hire new employees and buy new equipment, only to see the price of corn triple, making consumers unwilling to buy their expensive corn flakes. Buy a contract for future delivery at a set price, and they can plan, and again, the speculators take on the risk. They sell a contract, planning to buy the corn necessary for delivery. They make money if the price drops, and lose if it goes up, because they have to deliver at a set price.

Not just farmers, but all industries based on basic commodities would go through terrible swings in fortune if it weren't for these "gamblers," who take on the risk. Without them, there would be more bankruptcies, and more dramatic swings in consumer prices. In all markets with speculation, speculators provide the liquidity and ability to plan ahead that is needed.

New Ideas In Speculation

Maybe we need more speculation, not less. Wouldn't it be nice if businesses and even individuals could guarantee that gas for their cars would be near the same price next year? Speculators could provide that guarantee, and some businesses would love that kind of predictability.

You buy a contract, for example, to get your next 1000 gallons of gas at $2.20 per gallon. You put down a small deposit, and pay as you go, but you know that the next 1000 gallons will be $2,200, guaranteed.

A speculators role is to back the other side of the contract (to sell it). He is the one guaranteeing your price, so if the average price for the next 1000 gallons is $1.80, you still pay $2,200 in the end, but his cost is $1,800, so he makes $400 on the contract. Now if the price averages $3.30, he pays $3,300. You still pay $2,200, so he gambled and lost $1,100.

Speculators, like most gamblers, will probably bet on almost anything. We need to find more ways for them to take on our risks. Just imagine the many contracts could be invented, based on speculation.

About The Author Steve Gillman has been exploring new ideas for decades. Visit his site for invention ideas, business ideas, story ideas, political and economic theories, deep thoughts, and more. Get a free gift too: http://www.999ideas.com.

How to Stay Young and Healthy

How to Stay Young and Healthy

 by: Knut Holt

The aging process is for the greater part no mystery anymore. It consists for a great part of daily damages done on the macroscopic, tissue, cellular and genetic levels. These add up as the years are passing. These damages have specific causes like oxidating agents, sun beams, mechanical wear and tear, psychological stress, lack of some nutritional components and too much of others, like fat.

Another component of aging is the reduction of the telomere chains at the chromosome ends, as each cell division occurs. When these are shortended enough, cells stop dividing. However, the body has means to repair these ends again, with an enzyme called telomerase. The rapidity of the aging process depends on lack of efficiency in this repair process. The above mention aging causes also slow down this repair process.

The factors causing aging, also causes other diseases like cancer and coronary heart disease. Both aging and these diseases can in great extend be prevented with the knowledge possessed today, and the damages can in great extend be reversed. The components to achieve this are:

-Adequate dayly food containing whole cereals, peas, beans, vegetables, fruit, fish, mushroms, fouls and seafood, and with just a moderate amount of red meat.

-Just a moderate amount of fat.

-Ideally most fat one eats, should be of the type mono-unsaturated. One also needs some poly-usaturated fat of the types omega-3, and omega 6, but not too much of omega-6. The consumption of saturated fat should be very little.

-In order to achieve right fat balance, most of the fat supply should come from sources like olive, peanuts, canola, fish, nuts, sun-flower, etc. Then you will get a good balance between mono-unsaturated fat (olive, canola, peanuts), poly-unsaturated fat of the omaga-3-type (fish) and poly-unsaturated fat of the omega-6-type (sunflower).

-Just a very moderate amount of butter, soya oil, margarine, corn oil and palm oil. A high consumption of these fat sources gives you too much saturated fat and poly-unsaturated omega-6-fat.

-Just a very moderate amount of sugar, refined flour or refined cereals.

-Do not add more salt to the food than you need. Most people consume too much salt. However, some salt is needed. If the weather is warm and you are in high activity, you need more salt than by cold weather and low activity. Prefere sea-salt, beacuse of its content of valuable minerals.

-Just a moderate consumption of tranquilizers/stimulants as alchohol and coffeine, but in moderate amounts these contribute to slow down the aging process.

-No smoking or tobacco usage.

-Supplements of specific nutritional components like vitamins, minerals, lecitin and some essential fatty acids.

-Adequate training, that both gives a muscular load, work up your condition and stretches out your body. To stretch out, yoga-exercizes are ideal.

-Adequate rest and stress-reduction. Daily meditation is a method of achieving this. Natural relaxing agents or spesific tools for meditation or relaxation may also be useful.

-Supplements of specific anti-aging agents like anti-oxidants or human growth hormone.

-Use of spesific anti-aging agents to apply upon the skin surface.

-To protect the skin against excessive sun exposure.

The amount one needs of nutritional supplements, like vitamins and minerals, differs very much according to a person`s health condition, work load and exposure to environmental stress. A person having a poor digestion, doing high performance sport or being exposed to a high amount of environmental stressors, may need more than a person in an average situation.

About The Author Knut Holt is an internet consultant and marketer focusing on health items. Please go here to find anti-aging supplements, medicines against acne, eczema, rosacea scars, wrincles, other skin problems and natural medicines against heart disease, hypothyroidism, hemorrhoids, depression and other common health problems. http://www.abicana.com Free to reprint as long as the authors name and his link follow.

A Wedding For What?

A Wedding For What?

 by: Richard Keir

Once the actual purpose of a wedding had much more to do with property, parenthood and moral propriety in the eyes of the community. And those 3 elements were strongly interlinked, particularly among those members of society who made the rules.

In most western cultures, inheritance passed from father to son. So who was the father of the child was an important question, generally answered by identifying the father as the mother's wedded husband. And the issue of moral propriety tended to have to do with the fidelity of the wife rather than the activities of the husband.

Those days are largely passed despite lingering remnants of a double standard and the more modern belief in marrying for love rather than to ensure paternity and the orderly handing down of property. While alliances between powerful families may still be built based on bonding through marriage, generally the participants have a little more to say about the process these days.

Statistics today suggest that not too many marriages are until death do us part. Many hardly last long enough to have a child, much less raise one securely to adulthood. And the belief in the sanctity of marriage? Well, the statistics do also indicate that most divorced people remarry. That may not say much about sanctity but clearly marriage is seen as desirable even by the divorced.

In industrialized countries the increasing numbers of single parent families, also indicate that marriage is not serving all that well to protect and nurture children.

Many trends in modern society can be pointed to that contribute to these challenges to a successful marriage. To be raised in a consumer oriented society can be a curse. Things, ideas and people all tend to be turned into consumable items. The incessant hammering of advertising insists on new, different, better. Television and movies portray a parody of life. It's a rare individual who experiences one hundredth of the excitement and glamour (or fear and terror) of a 2 hour movie in their entire life. Our lives, our selves, appear drab and uninteresting. And our loved ones become boring, tedious, unexciting and uninteresting. Glued to the TV, passively sucking up pseudo-existence, we are divorced from the possibilities of real life.

Sensation addicts (which every advertiser deeply desires to makes us) just don't do well with commitment. The fizzy magic of falling in love is delirious and mysterious. If that's what you want, don't do the wedding thing. You'll be disabused, discovering that the magic mysterious person you fell in love with has a lot of really annoying habits, is kind of boring (maybe really boring), actually doesn't like your kind of fun much and wants to watch different TV shows too.

We all want to believe that we want a permanent long-term relationship - or at least we all pretty much have convinced ourselves of that before deciding to get married. However, it is a lot harder to actually do it than to delude yourself into thinking that's what you want.

And you also have to consider that your partner may change his or her mind while you still want one of those permanent long-term relationships. Is there some way to be sure? No.

I'd love to say yes, there is a way and here it is, the perfect and infallible method of knowing, in advance, if you will have a wonderful lifelong marriage. Regret it as I might, no one can guarantee it.

What is clear is that there is only one way to find out. Get married. Know the pitfalls. Work on your relationship. Share. Communicate. Build your dreams for the future together. Take care of each other and never fail to appreciate each other and treat each other better than you would some stranger. Absurd as it may sound, be polite, say thank you, be grateful for every good thing and equally grateful that you survived any bad thing. Take each other seriously and never take each other for granted. If you can do even half of that, you'll be ahead of 87.3% of all married couples.

And here's the nearly impossible thing - learn to see your partner anew. We never really know another person fully. We come to believe that we do, but this is an illusion. Every person is a bottomless mystery. Our vision becomes clouded day by day as we go through the routines of life. Eventually we think we know it all because we have blinded ourselves to reality. Sometimes we even become our own petrified visions of our selves. At that point we are convinced that somehow we are done, completed, beyond the need or even the possibility of internal change. If that were true, then only an outer change - modifying something external to ourselves could change our lives. And that, rarely works for long. No matter where you go, there you are. If you can not change yourself, it's futile to change your circumstances. You'll simply recreate the same old problems. Check the statistics on how many divorced people who marry again, end up getting divorced again.

Sounds bloody awful, doesn't it? But think of this, the incredible joy of parenthood lies in seeing a child grow and change and become something new. Our nature as humans is to be not only capable of learning and expanding ourselves, but to find our meaning in learning and changing. Marriage is serious business, not to be entered lightly. It is the beginning of what can become an awesome journey of discovery, rich with rewards and, certainly, full of challenges, uncertainty and trouble. Growing within a commitment shared with an equal partner can be the most rewarding thing you can do. But never think it will be easy or without pain, doubt and suffering. Any road you take through life will present challenges. Walking that road, successfully, with your partner, may not be an easy thing, but ultimately it is most definitely what a wedding is for.

Copyright 2005 Richard Keir

About The Author Richard Keir writes from the perspective of both a background in clinical psychology and more experience with marriage than he really wants to share. Relationships have always been one of his primary interests. You can visit Elena's Completely Weddings at http://Completely-Weddings.com for more information and articles about weddings.

Smart Marketing Secrets Revealed

Smart Marketing Secrets Revealed

 by: Claire Cunningham

Don’t you just hate junk mail that screams at you about supposed secrets to success that can be yours for a mere $9.95, $19.95, $99.95 or whatever? Well, here are some real “secrets” for you – and there’s no price tag attached.

Ever wonder how other companies keep their sales momentum going? Smart marketing and communications programs are critical. Here are three key marketing strategies you can put to work for your business.

1) VISIBILITY Awareness is where the selling process starts. After all, it’s hard for someone to buy from you if they don’t know you exist. Or let’s say you’re Apple Computer. Your name may be well known, but you need to let people know about your newest product – the iPod.

Advertising creates visibility on a broad scale, but it may not be right for your company. To find a tactic that fits, start with these questions. Who’s your audience? How can you get your company in front of them? What can your company spend? What return are you looking for?

2) CONSISTENCY Brand and brand management are major buzzwords in marketing and communications. But what do they really mean? If you’re a company like Target or Goodyear, it can mean complex product naming schemes and identity standards

For many other businesses it boils down to consistency. Determine your message, look and tone and then stick with it. It’s a way to increase cost efficiency, plus it’s easier to make an impression if you look and sound the same over time.

3) REPETITION Forget everything you’ve heard about the evils of redundancy. The truth is that human beings learn through repetition. In this highly-saturated environment it can take seven or more repetitions for a message to sink in.

© Copyright 2005 Clairvoyant Communications, Inc.

About The Author Claire Cunningham, president of Clairvoyant Communications, Inc., has 20+ years’ experience developing and implementing successful marketing and communications programs. Sign up for Claire’s monthly e-newsletter, Communiqué, at http://www.clairvoyantcommunications.com Claire can be reached at 763-479-3499 (Fax: 763-479-2809, e-mail: claire@claircomm.com)

Preparing For An Interview

Preparing For An Interview

 by: Michelle Roebuck

When preparing for an interview, you need to know your skills, experiences and achievements, and how to answer interview questions.

Your Skills

Become an expert about yourself. Before you wrote your resume, you probably prepared a list of skills, experiences and achievements. If not, then it’s a good idea to take some time and prepare one.

This information will help you answer questions that are most commonly asked during the interview. There are all types of interview questions, but no book or web site can give you the answers. Only you can come up with answers to these questions, because you’re the only one who knows what your skills, experiences and achievements are.

The interviewer is asking these questions in order to find out how much of an asset you will be to the company if hired. Come up with real life examples that highlight how your skills and achievements helped you in your previous or current job. Think of situations where you:

• Solved a problem for your supervisor or manager

• Developed an action plan in order to meet a deadline

• Led team projects successfully

• Received some sort of recognition or award at your previous job

• etc…

Answering Interview Questions

When you come up with these examples, make sure your examples focus on what you can do for their company once hired. That’s what the job interview is all about…what YOU can do for THEIR company.

If you give example after example of how your skills and experiences will help their company, the more appealing you will become as a potential employee.

There is a danger of over-preparing for an interview. There are hundreds of books and websites that will give you the "most commonly asked interview questions and answers". You try to memorize the answers to these questions and when it’s time for the interview, you sound like you’re giving some canned response. You don’t sound like yourself.

The best advice I can give you when it comes to answering interview questions (especially difficult ones), is know your skills, experiences and achievements and be yourself. This way, you don’t go into the interview sounding like someone who memorized a canned answer out of some book. Just relax and be natural.

Trust yourself enough to answer questions in a natural and honest way. Keep your answers in the positive. When you’re relaxed and answer questions in an honest way, you’ll be able to think on your feet and provide answers that the interviewer wants to hear.

Ask yourself, "What skills, experiences and achievements do I have that will make me an asset to this company?" If you can answer that question while going through the interview process, you will be one step closer to landing the job you want.

About The Author Michelle Roebuck provides job interview tips and resume writing advice at her website http://www.job-interview-and-resume-tips.com Sign up for her Free newsletter at http://www.job-interview-and-resume-tips.com/newsletter.html